The Duelist Files
by Insanity's WEIRD Manifestation
Summary: A critical analysis on the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh!, in the style of Pokemon's Pokedex. Yes, this means extensive character bashing! Please read and review - our first fic.
1. Toumogi, The Destiny Duelist

Kitana: Hello people!

Kida: There still isn't anyone out there...

Kirika: Whatever. Anyway, this is our first story!

All: YAY!

Danny: But it requires a bit of explaining.

Julia: Boo!

Kitana: Anyway, here's the deal. This story is kind of a Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon crossover, but it only uses one element of the latter.

Julia: What the dork means is that we've taken the idea of the Pokedex from Pokemon...

Kida: And are now going to use it against the Yu-Gi-Oh! characters.

All: **grin evilly**

Kirika: That's why everyone has really weird nicknames and that's also why we're going to refer to everyone as 'it'.

Danny: If you can't figure out who the chapter's about, Dude or Dudette, you really shouldn't be here.

Kida: WAIT! WE NEED TO DO A DISCLAIMER! OR WE COULD GET SUED!

Kirika: 'Sued' as in money?

Julia: I'm broke.

Danny: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Pokemon.

Kirika: Geez, we don't own any anime!

Julia: Yet.

Kitana: So without further ado...

All: We now present: **_The Duelist Files._**

**XOXOXOX**

**Entry No. One**

001 **Toumogi **The Destiny Duelist

**I.D. No:** 46986414

**Pronunciation:** Toh-Mo-Gi

**Area:** Turtle Game Shop, Domino Town, Japan

**Date of Birth:** 4th June

**Blood type:** AB

This Duelist is renowned throughout the planet due to the fact that it is highly skilled and because it very rarely loses a battle. This Duelist is often teased as it is vertically challenged, despite this however, the Toumogi will always remain incredibly optimistic. The Toumogi is also extremely loyal and loving – aspects of its nature that have placed it in harms way many times.

It is said that a 5000-year-old spirit that chooses to take over its body sometimes possesses the Toumogi. Occasionally, the spirit is extremely violent and will do anything to get its own way. The majority of the time, this is not the case. It is believed that the spirit originates from Egypt, and that it currently lives within the pyramid-shaped item that is always around the Toumogi's neck (along with a buckle). However, the spirit that possesses this Duellist is also known for reciting extremely long, dull and repetitive speeches about subjects such as friendship, honour, courage and, most regularly, 'The Heart of the Cards'. Some refer to the Toumogi's alter ego as 'Yami', but others choose to call the ethereal transparent floating entity 'Pharaoh'.

The Toumogi could be very easily lost in a crowd, if it wasn't for the fact that it bears a unique and unusual hairstyle that is both spectacular and lethal. The hairstyle is made up of three different colours, red, black and yellow, and is shaped like an obscure star. When Yami possesses the Toumogi's body, this hairstyle becomes even spikier, and the Toumogi becomes taller, which is a very unusual transformation considering the immense change that the DNA of Toumogi must undergo – much like evolution. The Toumogi has big, deep, purple eyes that are often wide in shock, horror, or happiness. When observed closely, there are many other noticeable differences that can be seen between the Toumogi and Yami, such as the fact that Toumogi wears white trainers to begin with, but they become black boots when Yami takes over. Toumogi can also be easily recognised by the fact that it usually is dressed in its school uniform, despite whatever social gathering it may be attending.

Certain theories speak of the possibility that the Toumogi may be mentally retarded, as it deliberately appears to act half its actual age. This leads to misconceptions about what the Toumogi's true age is. The fact that the Toumogi is so short does add to this dilemma, but so far, this has not caused any overtly precarious problems.

The Toumogi is extremely slow and is not fast in the least. However, when the Toumogi is given an incentive to run, it will do its best and so will display a sudden output of energy. The Toumogi often talks to itself, and it will accept hallucinations and visions without the need for much convincing. Toumogi is so gullible, trusting and naive that it often places itself in danger, leading to the Toumogi being tricked, robbed and even being sent to another dimension. However, the Toumogi's tendency to always give others a second chance is viewed as kind and generous as well as stupid and too innocent.

Toumogi can be often found with a pack of protective friends. Perhaps it believes that there is safety in numbers, but for the Toumogi, this is not the case. Danger manages to find it wherever the Toumogi goes; this leads to the Toumogi feeling distressed, upset and saddened. At these times, the Toumogi is patronised, cared for or taken advantage of.

Toumogi's alter ego has been given many names over the centuries. These are: Yugioh, King of Games and Spirit. The Toumogi itself is sometimes called Yug' by certain individuals, an abrupt abbreviation of its name. As well as physical differences, there are also characteristics that differentiate the Toumogi from the Pharaoh. The Toumogi tends to be timid and not completely sure of its abilities, but Pharaoh is so different that some describe it as being egotistical. Toumogi emits sounds that are high-pitched and squeaky, but the Pharaoh's tone is rather deep and regal. The Pharaoh stands for justice, truth, honour, morality, and all the other things that are the antonyms of the darkness that escaped from the mythical Pandora's Box (with the exception of hope of course – Pharaoh chooses to also daily battle for this).

Despite all of the extensive research, not much can be confirmed about the Toumogi and Yami, especially as Yami is suffering from intense amnesia. As time goes on, our research will continue, but this is all the information that we can provide at this current time.

**Closing Duelist File No. 1**

**XOXOXOX**

Kida: If you don't agree with what we said about Yugi...

Julia: Get lost!

Kitana: **glares** What she means to say is tell us in the nice, long review you're going to leave as you exit this fic.

Kirika: Or you could do as you want and completely ignore the purple button and just move on.

Danny: If you review, we'll update!

Kirika: And if you actually have something positive to say, that'd be great.

Kida: Except then you'll make Julia upset because she won't have an excuse for yelling at you.

Julia: And you don't want to make me unhappy. **attempts to look sweet**

Kitana: **shudders** Dude, that does not suit you AT ALL.


	2. Rakuyoba, The Darkness Duelist

Julia We got reviews!

All: YAY!

Kitana: They like us they really like us!

Kirika: Um… sure…

Kida: We are SO sorry that it took us so long to update! But this chapter's good!

Danny: Anyways, time for our comments.

**thefutureMrs.Kaiba**: Glad you liked it! Thanks!

**i-love-bakura1489**: Mwahaha… expect some very nasty comments. Don't get us wrong, we really do like all the characters we're bashing here, it's just that they have a heck of a lot of flaws which are fun to pick on!

**Sakurelle:** Erm…'ethereal transparent floating entity'? Hehe… well, we'd say it's an accurate description.

**Redemmo**: Well, here's the update! And it's Bakura!

**shadow of the doubt:** Hehe... well maybe we pay too much attention…

**Dagger Maxwell:** Joey and Seto are coming soon! Please note that although we DO know the Japanese names, we're using the English ones instead.

**Zyte:** Luck is good!

**DanielleM:** Wow, we were that helpful? **W.E.I.R.D. fall over in shock** Glad you liked it!

**Dark Magician Fairy:** **Kitana's vein is throbbing **Melon-head huh?

**XOXOXOX**

**Entry No. Two**

002 **Rakuyoba**- The Darkness Duelist  
**I.D. Number:** 53982768  
**Pronunciation:** Ra-Ku-Yo-Ba  
**Area:** Anywhere near ancient Egyptian magic or gold.  
**Date of Birth:** 2nd September  
**Blood Type:** AB

This faint-hearted specimen is an extraordinary and rare Duelist. This Duelist is set apart by its tendency to pronounce all the syllables in every word that it cares to utter, so although this Duelist originates from Japan, many are under the misconception that it is more commonly found in England, a European country. This habit is extremely aggravating and peculiar, and as of yet, scientists have not been able to answer why the Rakuyoba chooses to speak in such a manner. This Duelist's strange dress sense also adds to this false belief, so it is understandable why many humans are confused as to where it truly comes from.

Like the Toumogi, this timid Duelist is believed to be one of the few individuals that carries an alternative side. However, there are many vast differences between the Toumogi's alter ego and the Rokuyoba's double. Whilst the Pharaoh is protective of the Toumogi, the dark half of Rakuyoba (more commonly known as Fiend or Grave Robber) is sinister and sadistic, making it a Duelist that is feared by many citizens. The differences between the two are astronomical, for instance, this, alternate side is extremely aggressive and is anything but weak and apprehensive. Unfortunately for the Rakuyoba, as it is enormously shy and tentative, it is easy to control. Although the Rakuyoba is especially brave and courageous and will do anything to protect its friends, it does not put up much resistance against its darker half, as its strength is lower than the average Duelist. This puny Duelist's luck is substantially lower than others – it is always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

This shady character is also known as Rakuyoba, but is more commonly known as Yami Bakura. The alter ego is the dark reflection of the Rakuyoba. It enjoys torturing others and sending them out of their minds with one swift attack, and the Rakuyoba has no control of its actions when the disconcerting sprit chooses to show itself. Yami Bakura is cunning and intelligent and is rather bloodthirsty. As well as this, Yami Bakura is obsessive about revenge, and will wait for lengths as long as 5000 years to carry it out.

The Rakuyoba shares its appearance with the putrid and unethical spirit, so it is hard to determine whether the Rakuyoba or the Spirit is present. However, one of the few existing differences is the fact that the vocal qualities of the Rakuyoba change dramatically, from sweet and tender they become menacing and cruel. Other than this, when Yami Bakura is present, the Rakuyoba's hair changes, causing two tufts of hair at the front of its head to rise, much like antennae.

Yami Bakura wears a Millennium Ring around its neck, a strange object that is gold in colour. This mysterious item is one of a kind and has many capabilities. It can seal the souls of individuals into inanimate objects and also erase their minds. These abilities make the Ring very dangerous. The Rakuyoba first inherited the Ring when its father brought the Ring as a gift for its only son. The Rakuyoba's mother and sister are deceased, and its father is the only family it has left.

Another known detail about this hesitant Duelist is the fact that it can sometimes be caught talking to itself. Many think that this is because the length of time it spends in the Shadow Realm has driven it to the edge of sanity, whilst others choose to believe the theory that it is truly its minute intellect disintegrating at a dangerous excelling rate. There are also some theories that it is talking to its evil shadow instead of itself, but these are still being analysed.

**Closing Duellist File No. 2**

**XOXOXOX**

Kirika: Well, we're glad that's over.

Julia: Anyway, the next chapter should be here soon, and trust me, it's gonna be interesting!

Kida: See ya! Remember to review!


	3. Sekatose, The Business Duelist

Kirika: Hello people!

Kida: They're a non-existent audience remember?

Danny: Not like it really matters. Here's the update!

Julia: But first the comments guys!

**Sakurelle** It's the chapter you've been waiting for! Kaiba time!

**MutantJediBauer** Did you check out our homepage or something? Everyone check out the homepage! Anyway, glad you like it!

**Dark Magician Fairy: **Okay, sorry, we probably weren't clear enough. We're looking at the characters in the style of a Pokedex, so in other words, we're analysing each person using some incredibly huge words, including weird details which we happen to know are true, writing it in third person and are ignoring the need for active sentences. Also, well, the nicknames are more amusing and the take away the link to the actual series itself, and TOUMOGI SOUNDS SO CUTE! …Forgive that moment of insanity **everyone glares at Kida.**

**Redemmo:** Yes, this is Seto's chapter! But a few of our members strongly advise that people stop calling him Melon-Head… or there's the possibility that heads will be rolling… **sweat drop**

Kida: Yeah… don't worry, Kitana won't be hurting anybody. **everyone looks at Kitana who is bound and gagged**

Kirika: And now we'll all shut up for this chapter.

**XOXOXOX**

**Entry No. Three**

003 **Sekatose** The Business Duelist

**I.D. No:** 89631139

**Pronunciation:** Se-Ka-Toes

**Area:** KaibaCorp Tower, Domino Town, Japan

**Date of Birth:** 25th October

**Blood type:** A

The Sekatose is a strange Duelist that is usually very difficult to track down. However, top scientists recently discovered that the Sekatose can be lured out of hiding with the temptation of rare cards or exceptional technological devices. The Sekatose is said to usually be found behind a desk screaming demands into a microphone and ignoring the need for nutrition – this Duelist is often so busy that it forgets to eat. Some believe that this Duelist is suffering from anorexia, but this is yet a theory that requires valid proof.

Although it is extremely difficult to arrange an appointment with this antisocial Duelist, many will recognise it at first sight. Like other legendary entities, the Sekatose appears on ancient tablets, so its features are not uncommon. Other than this, the Sekatose appears on television screens when it gives press conferences or announces that it is hosting a Duel Monsters Tournament. The Sekatose greatly enjoys playing Duel Monsters, but although it is highly skilled at the game, its greatest adversary and challenge to date remains the Toumogi. The Toumogi was the first Duellist to ever defeat the Sekatose, and ever since, the Sekatose has been craving revenge. It is unusually equipped with an extensive memory for remembering slights and defeats; however its capacity in this department has led to a deficiency in its ability to recall events as they truly occurred.

The Sekatose is an unusually tall Duelist; it often towers over the Toumogi, the Rakuyoba and many others of the Dueling species. Very few surpass this Duelist in terms of height or intelligence. The Sekatose has blue eyes and brown hair, so it is not as unique as the Rakuyoba, a Duelist that is believed to be an albino due to its snow-white locks. However, in terms of appearance, this Duelist is set apart by its unique attire. This Duelist wears long trench coats that vary in colour from season to season, altering with the intensity of the wind since the Sekatose like its clothes to flow behind it like a cape. Some experts believe that this is a psychological affinity with royalty - the Sekatose has aspirations of greatness and perhaps its clothes are an indication of its need to be the best.

The Sekatose is a certified genius; it often devises groundbreaking ideas and enjoys receiving recognition for its unique concepts. If any of its ideas are plagiarised – as in the case of its virtual technology - the Sekatose will personally exact its revenge, often leading to an untimely demise for the criminal. As can be seen the Sekatose is particularly fond of said revenge, preferring it to justice, unlike the Toumogi's Spirit, with whom it does not affiliate.

Unlike the Rakuyoba and the Toumogi, this Duelist does not encompass an alter ego. It is claimed however that the Sekatose may suffer from schizophrenia as evidenced by its behavioural tendencies and extreme mood swings. At one point in its life, the Sekatose was controlled by a part of its personality that was so evil that it formed another entity all together. The Pharaoh, Toumogi's alter ego, banished this dark manipulator to the terrifying Shadow Realm, and to this day, it haunts the world of putrid doom. Unlike the Fiend and the Pharaoh, the Sekatose's dark side does not share its appearance with the Sekatose. The Sekatose's dark side, which remains unnamed, is extremely hideous. Small, fat, with pink hair and black clothing, its appearance is unappealing, and quite frankly, nauseating to viewers. Some theories state that as the Sekatose is no longer affected by this dark influence, and as all traces of malevolence were removed from the Sekatose by the Pharaoh, that it is pure of heart, but this is a conjecture shared by few and, like many other speculations about the Sekatose, it still requires suitable evidence.

The Sekatose lives with its younger brother in a large estate located in Domino Town. The Sekatose enjoys freedom of space, and like many animals in the natural world it is vehement in its protection of its vast territories. The province inhabited by this Duelist is not its natural habitat; it was brought to this domain by an extremely cruel benefactor. However the Sekatose's natural curiosity and intelligence led it to discover the nature of its assumed father, the Gozabutroll and resulted in an overthrow staged by the Sekatose with the aid of its sibling.

Although this Duelist very rarely shows signs of consideration or compassion, it loves its younger brother unconditionally, and is extremely protective and giving when it concerns this particular individual. Apart from towards the Momoki, the Sekatose is so unsociable that it does not have any friends, or at least, the Sekatose does not place any of its associates under this particular category.

The Sekatose has a lengthy and miserable past, and perhaps because of this, this Duelist prefers not to think about its history. The Sekatose's origins are the same as that of the Spirit to whom it was subservient in Ancient Egypt, 5000 years ago. However, even then the Sekatose had tendencies to overthrow any who governed its actions, as can be assumed from pictorial depictions in hieroglyphs of its constant struggles for dominance over the Pharaoh which continue to this day. Although this version of history is accepted by the keepers of its records, the Sekatose chooses to dismiss any discussions of it's origins as attempts to confuse and disorientate its keen mind. It utterly rejects all connections to it's past and does not recollect its ancient activities without mystical prompting. However, even when faced with hard evidence, the innate stubborn nature of the Sekatose does not allow it to accept any version of history other than its own distorted rendition. It is so untrusting and suspicious of its fellow Duelists that it will not follow advice without considering it extensively to see whether it is truly in its own best interests. However, although the previous statements have been proven numerous times, recent events have shown that the Sekatose will readily obey its hallucinations and dreams.

In conclusion, the Sekatose is one of the most complex varieties of Duelist and its nature is not readily comprehended even by experts. Due to a unique ability to change its destiny, the Sekatose's actions cannot be predicted even by psychic Duellists. Even after years of research the reasons for the Sekatose's unusual habits remain as mainly speculation.

**Closing Duellist File No. 3**

**XOXOXOX**

Kitana: Did we have to do that? **cries and hugs a Seto plushie**

Danny: YES! **is hit over the head with a magic saucepan by Kirika**

Julia: If you guys don't review this, I'm gonna beat you up!

Kida: Aren't you all forgetting something?

The Others: What?

Kida: **rolls eyes** Thanks to ShikariHunter who reviewed and revised this… ah… interesting file.

Kitana: Yeah… well, you should see what she writes about him… **hugs plushie** **tighter**

Julia: Anyway review! Next chapter is that freaky Duelling Monkey!

Kida: You mean loveable Duelling Monkey.

Julia: Whatever. Check out the homepage!

Danny: And if you like insane randomness, read our other fic as well.


	4. Jowler, The Canine Duelist

Kitana: We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! We are idiots and are so sorry!

Danni: We're really sorry for the long gaps between updates, but if you knew how busy we've been, you would have excused us!

Kida: **looks up from her GBA SP **Um… yeah… busy…

Julia: **cries** We're so, so sorry!

Kirika: Yeah, honestly, we would have got here sooner, but we were kind of held up by someone.

Kida: **keeps playing**

Kitana: Not looking at anyone.

Kida: **is still playing**

Danni: Whose turn it was to write.

Kida: **does not look up**

Julia: Who is VERY apologetic.

Kida: **doesn't realise that all of W.E.I.R.D. are hovering above her**

Kitana, Kirika, Danni, Julia: KIDA!

Kida: **looks up** Oh right, the comments!

Kitana, Kirika, Danni, Julia: **anime fall**

**Steeple333**: Well, it's finally here! The update that we promised!

**Shantella the Caffeine Addict**: Mehehe…

**Redemmo**: Well, this isn't exactly 'updating soon', but it's still the next chapter! Yay!

**Sakurelle**: (Kitana) SETO KAIBA ROCKS! (Kida) Someone shut her up before she goes into another one of her rants!

**Bourei No Hikari**: Wow, you must really like this fic if you still bothered to read it after a computer crash! Yay!

**WolfSisterKorrina**: YuGiMon… hehehe… glad you liked our fic! Well, read this chapter and see if you like it! Teá is yet to come!

Julia: CHAPTER FOUR YAY!

**XOXOXOX**

**Entry No. Four**

004 **Jowler **The Canine Duelist

**I.D. No:** 00423705

**Pronunciation:** Jowler

**Area:** Random areas in Domino Town, Japan

**Date of Birth:** 25th January

**Blood type**: B

This argumentative Duelist appears to be of a strange variety, as experts still have trouble deciding whether it belongs to the primate or canine family. The Jowler is a bizarre creature that exhibits traits of both aforementioned categories, as it communicates like an ape when it becomes angry, and whimpers like a dog when it is dejected.

Despite its awkward behavioural tendencies, it is believed by some that the Jowler is of human form. The Jowler's blonde hair is neither lethal like the Toumogi's nor unique in colour like the Rakuyoba's: rather, the Jowler's coarse state of appearance is common within urban areas. The Jowler also has deep brown eyes, and - unlike the Sekatose with whom it competes in the Duelist's battle arena - the Jowler is not set apart by its attire, as this too is standard.

Perhaps it is due to its inability to distinguish itself that the Jowler often masquerades as creatures which are not even remotely associated with the Duelist variety and cannot possibly be mistaken as such. Psychiatrists suspect that the Jowler feels out of place amongst its companions, and as such, it disguises itself by wearing various suits. In the past, the Jowler has been seen in long, fluorescent garments which resemble a dress, a suit of armour with a draconic theme, the garb that was worn by civilisation's earliest human men and – causing further confusion for scientists – the Jowler has worn the ensemble of a canine and then exhibited peculiar activities such as barking.

The Jowler is often accused of being yet another egotistical Duelist, and in the past, its reckless nature and hasty decisions have led it to danger. The Jowler is extremely attention-seeking, and loves to be in the limelight, however, it is often considered to be only a second-rate Duelist despite the great amounts of skill and determination it displays upon the Dueling Field. This Duelist is extremely supportive of the Toumogi and will always stand by it, risking its own life in order to save Toumogi's. The Toumogi also displays great amounts of courage by sacrificing itself for the Jowler, and this has led expert scientists to believe that the two Duelists share a mutual bond of what is known as 'friendship'.

However, although this Duelist is admired and respected by many Duelists of a lower calibre, there are many Duelists that mock the Joweller, such as the Sekatose. The

Jowler possesses a particularly small amount of brain cells, and as such, is regarded as exceptionally stupid. The Sekatose believes that the Jowler is an unworthy Duelist, and this constant blow to its self-esteem has led the Jowler to assume that it needs to prove itself as the superior of the condescending Sekatose.

In spite of the fact that in terms of intellect, the Jowler is outmatched by the single-celled organism the amoeba, the Jowler is a very kind Duelist that is determined to assist all the needy Duelists which cross its path. Though it is quick to anger – and is even quicker to become envious – the Jowler is considerate, and is inspired by the Toumogi, and its relative, the Sirwelty. The Jowler lacks patience (and this is often apparent even upon the Dueling Field) but it has an incalculable amount of faith in its companions, and will fight to its death for a cause that it believes in.

On the whole, the Jowler is a complex Duelist in its own right, possessing a large number of both qualities and weaknesses. It is its motivating resolve to overcome these flaws that make the Jowler a strong Duelist, and a specimen worthy of study.

**Closing Duelist File No. Four**

**XOXOXOX**

Danni: That was so mean!

Kitana: Are you insane? That was practically complimenting him!

Julia: I guess we should just leave you two to argue.

Kida: Review!

Kirika: Or you'll be sorry, for we will attack with… GINGERBREAD!


End file.
